Then here I come with my little thirteen months at the company, ambitious enough to believe I belonged in bigger rooms anyway.

A position opened internally, and I already knew a lot of the people around me would be applying for it. Some of them had more experience than me. Some of them were already working directly under the hiring manager. Some of them had relationships and tenure that I simply did not have yet.

And I applied anyway.

That is one of the biggest things I need professionals to understand about their careers. You cannot spend your life disqualifying yourself before leadership ever gets the chance to evaluate you. So many people talk themselves out of opportunities because they are too busy looking at who else might be applying instead of looking at themselves honestly and asking, “Can I do this job? Am I willing to learn what I do not know yet?”

I looked at the job description carefully. I looked at the responsibilities, the qualifications, and the day to day expectations of the role. I realized I already met most of the criteria, and for the things I had not done yet, I was willing to learn them. That mattered to me more than being intimidated by who else might be in the applicant pool.

So I prepared for that interview seriously.

I knew there would be behavioral questions and “tell me about a time” questions, so I spent time thinking through the strongest examples from my career. I thought about projects I had improved, processes I had cleaned up, problems I had solved, and moments where I had already demonstrated leadership without the title.

Then I decided to take it a step further.

I created a one pager that walked through my experience, accomplishments, and value proposition because I wanted the hiring manager to understand that while I may not have had the most years of experience in the room, I had done a lot with the years I did have.

When I sat down in that interview, before we even got started, I handed it to her and said, “I wanted to give you deeper context into my experience before we begin.”

The interview went really well, and ultimately I did not get the job. But what I got instead was confirmation.

After the interview process was over, the hiring manager booked time with me separately just to talk. She told me I had interviewed extremely well, that she was impressed with how I presented myself, and that the one pager really stood out to her because it helped her understand who I was professionally in a much deeper way. Then she said something that stayed with me for years. She told me, “You are going to go very far in your career.”

That conversation poured gasoline on a fire that was already burning inside me.

I need people to understand something important here because too many professionals become so obsessed with whether they “won” the opportunity that they completely miss what they gained from the process. I did not get that specific role, but I gained visibility, confidence, positioning, interview experience, and language for how to articulate my value in future rooms. In fact, years later, I reused that same framework to help position myself for another role that I technically had zero experience in, and I still got hired.

That one interview changed how I saw myself professionally.

Now here is where the story takes a turn.

The hiring manager later shared feedback with my manager and mentioned the one pager. My manager came to my cubicle one day and told me how impressed the hiring manager had been. Then she asked me if I would share the one pager with her because she wanted to take a look at it.

And I told her no.

The look on her face said everything.

I explained to her that this was something I had created independently for myself as a competitive advantage. This was not a company template. It was not part of my deliverables. It was not something I built on company time for departmental use. This was something I created strategically for my own career positioning.

What made the situation even more interesting is that I already knew she had been interviewing for other roles internally and externally herself. So in my mind, what she really wanted was to use my framework to position herself professionally in her own interviews.

And I was not comfortable with that.

What fascinated me was how quickly the relationship changed after I said no.

This was somebody who previously wanted to walk to Starbucks together, sit in my cubicle talking for thirty five minutes about work and life, vent about traffic, vent about her ex husband, and spend time building what I thought was a genuine workplace relationship. Then suddenly the energy shifted. Now everything became emails. Now everything became nitpicking. Now everything felt colder.

And honestly, it made me laugh more than anything because it confirmed something for me very early in my career. Some people are perfectly comfortable with your ambition as long as it feels non threatening. The second they realize you are serious about your growth, serious about your positioning, and serious about protecting the things you built for yourself, the relationship changes.

What I also recognized at the time, especially as a Black woman navigating corporate spaces that were never truly designed with us in mind, is that there is often an unspoken expectation that we should overperform while also freely handing over the exact formula that helped us stand out in the first place.

I looked at that whole situation through Olivia Pope eyes. We already know we often have to be twice as good to get half of what other people get. So no, I was not interested in handing over the very thing that helped differentiate me in the room.

And years later, I still would not change my answer.

One of the biggest reasons I wanted to share this story is because I know there are professionals dealing with difficult workplace dynamics right now. Some of you genuinely feel like your manager has a personal issue with you, and sometimes that may absolutely be true. Other times, managers are overwhelmed, unsupported, poorly trained, emotionally immature, or under pressure themselves and they do not know how to manage any of it correctly.

That still does not excuse poor leadership.

But it does explain why so many people struggle silently in corporate environments.

Companies promote individual contributors into management roles every single day without teaching them how to lead people. Somebody can be phenomenal technically and still have no idea how to communicate, coach, develop talent, navigate conflict, or lead a team effectively.

That is why I talk so much about the importance of having conversations with your manager. You need to know where you stand. You need to understand how your work is being perceived. You need to advocate for yourself before frustration turns into resentment and burnout.

Your manager has influence in rooms you are not sitting in yet. They are discussing raises, promotions, leadership potential, project visibility, and opportunities when you are not there to defend yourself or clarify your intentions. So learning how to communicate professionally, strategically, and confidently matters.

That is also why I created the “Conversation With Your Manager” guide for Career Convos readers because many professionals know they need to have these conversations, but they do not know how to start them.

And honestly, that is a huge part of why I created Career Convos in the first place. I wanted professionals to have a space where somebody finally says the quiet part out loud about corporate life, leadership, burnout, ambition, visibility, boundaries, wellness, and workplace dynamics.

Because too many people are trying to navigate these spaces alone.

Frequently Asked Questions About Managing Your Manager, Workplace Boundaries, and Career Growth

How do I stand out in a corporate interview?

Standing out in a corporate interview usually comes down to preparation, positioning, and your ability to clearly articulate your value. A lot of professionals walk into interviews assuming their resume will speak for itself, but hiring managers are often looking for people who can connect their experience to business impact. Sharing specific accomplishments, examples of leadership, process improvements, problem solving, and communication skills can make a major difference. Sometimes the differentiator is not years of experience. Sometimes it is how effectively you communicate the value of the experience you do have.

What should I talk about during a one on one meeting with my manager?

Your one on one meetings should go beyond status updates. Those conversations are opportunities to discuss career goals, visibility, workload, growth opportunities, leadership development, communication challenges, compensation conversations, and long term career direction. Your manager plays a role in how your work is perceived behind closed doors, so regular communication matters more than many professionals realize.

How do I know if my manager is supportive of my career growth?

A supportive manager usually creates visibility opportunities, gives constructive feedback, advocates for your development, communicates openly, and helps position you for future growth. A manager does not have to be your best friend to support your career, but there should be evidence that they are invested in your success and professional development.

How do I deal with a difficult manager at work?

Start by focusing on professionalism, documentation, communication, and protecting the quality of your work. It is also important to understand whether the issue is personality conflict, poor communication, leadership inexperience, workplace pressure, or something more intentional. In some cases, coaching and career guidance can help professionals navigate these situations more strategically and with less emotional exhaustion.

Why do conversations with your manager matter so much?

Managers often influence raises, promotions, leadership opportunities, project assignments, succession planning discussions, and performance narratives in rooms you are not sitting in. If you are not communicating your goals, challenges, accomplishments, and aspirations clearly, people may fill in the blanks incorrectly. Career growth requires visibility, and visibility often starts with communication.

What if I feel underqualified for a promotion or internal role?

A lot of professionals underestimate themselves before they ever apply. If you meet most of the qualifications and are willing to learn the rest, that opportunity may still be worth pursuing. Applying for roles can create visibility, build interview confidence, strengthen your professional network, and prepare you for future opportunities even if you do not immediately get the position.

Why do some managers become distant when employees start advancing?

Sometimes growth changes workplace dynamics. Some managers are comfortable mentoring employees as long as the relationship feels safe, familiar, or non threatening. The moment an employee starts positioning themselves for leadership, advancement, or broader visibility, insecurities and power dynamics can surface in ways that become emotionally noticeable in the workplace.

What is #CareerConvos™️?

#CareerConvos™️ is a professional development platform focused on helping corporate professionals navigate career growth, leadership, burnout, workplace dynamics, communication, visibility, promotions, boundaries, and corporate culture. Through podcast episodes, downloadable resources, coaching, and conversations rooted in lived experience, Career Convos helps professionals develop the language and confidence to navigate corporate environments more effectively.

How do you get good at speaking “the language” at work?

What “That Talk” Is

Developing your work language and learning to “talk shop” takes time and practice, but it’s not as overwhelming as you think. Talking shop is using language relevant to your job or industry to communicate - the bulk of the conversation still needs to be simple words.

Where talkin…

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Embrace discomfort.

This Timehop hits different. It’s a reminder of the results that came from stepping outside my comfort zone and stretching myself to do something I said I’d never do.

I had to touch it because it was funny. I’m standing next to Adam, and on the other side of the mall is Eve. Here I was thinking the gold was intended by the artist, only to learn the gold comes from the touch of many people like me, who just HAD TO.

Looking at this photo, I think about enjoying this moment of laughter because embracing discomfort can be mentally and physically taxing, and:

• Colombian artist Fernando Botero’s 12-foot-tall Adam and Eve sculptures that I just had to touch. They’re unforgettable.

• Being offered this assignment on a Thursday night and having to be in Manhattan at 9am Monday morning.

• How I brought my pumps to work everyday only to leave them in the desk because I walked EVERYWHERE in my New Balances. Walking 13,000 steps a day felt effortless.

• The cab rides on 3 wheels.

• That scene from Coming to America with the black trash bags occupying the already narrow New York City sidewalks. That was the normal scene walking back to the hotel after late nights in the office.

• The pasta with mussels (another thing I said I wouldn’t eat) was so good. I can’t remember the name of the restaurant but it was a cozy little family owned Italian restaurant with great red wine.

• The way I’d silent cry on the Monday morning Delta Air Lines flights back to Manhattan knowing I wouldn’t cuddle with my family for the next 5 days.

• I learned and taught myself so much about mergers and acquisitions in a short period of time.

• Whether I should sell my car because I was questioning the need to have one after adjusting to not having one for months.

• I’ve planted my feet on the ground in Times Square. I witnessed the Christmas tree lighting at the Rockefeller Center. I may or may not have been in the same building as a bomb.

• I paused daily to take in views of Central Park from 30+ floors high. To be up that high and see planes flying at eye level is (1) fascinating and (2) a bit jarring considering.

• Having 5-star meals after work then going back to my hotel to work some more.

• The deeper soft skills I developed as I had to quickly build trust and rapport with people I didn’t know...AND I needed them to tell me how they did their jobs so I could transfer their roles to another team. Imagine that.

• The warmth in my belly when the Friday night flight landed knowing my family was only a few steps away outside of baggage claim.

• More soft skills: just get done what I know needs to be done. I’m not waiting for someone to tell me it needs to be done. I’m not asking what should be done.

• I had the best salad of my life there and fell in love with hearts of palm.

• I visited The Metropolitan Museum of Art for the first time. It was an experience and way bigger than I thought it would be.

• The bittersweet ending to this assignment. After that I was ready to go again.

I walked with no hesitation into something that I knew was going to try me professionally and personally. I popped my collar after that.

What are your thoughts on embracing discomfort? Tell me about your experience in the comments.

~Nikki

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No one teaches you how to manage up. But almost everybody needs to know how.

Managing your manager can feel awkward one day and like babysitting the next. Get out your feelings and focus on the end goal - articulating your value to the ones in the closed door conversations. Even if you call yourself not liking your manager, you still need to find a way t…

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